ZOMBIFIED: More Proof that Angela is Dodging NANO

Well Musers, I know Angela said she's doing Nanowrimo this month, but the evidence keeps piling up. 

Today, a report from a writer many know and love--someone who is risking LIFE AND LIMB just by communicating with us. That's right, Tabitha Olson, well known blogger, Kidlit writer and book reviewer at Writer's Musings has managed to snap the most revealing --and dangerous-- photo of Angela yet. 

I'm still in complete shock as I write this. If you have a sensitive stomach, or would rather remember Angela as she once was, I encourage you NOT to read on.

 A Zombies Exposé! 

You might not know this, but I’ve been secretly reporting on zombie sightings for the past ten years. My pen name is Zhack Adeadone, so feel free to look me up. I know of what I speak.

Ordinarily I would never reveal my true identity to the public (because that ultimately leads to hordes of zombies at my doorstep—contrary to popular belief, they aren’t as dumb as they appear to be and can Google). However, I discovered some shocking information that I feel you, loyal readers of The Bookshelf Muse, need to know.

By the time you read this, I will already have packed a bag and flown to some unknown corner of the Earth. I can only hope the zombies won’t find my trail… I got a tip from an anonymous source that a zombie horde was gathering in the small town of Pimbahtaw, Ontario last night. So I headed up there, donned my full zombie disguise, and this is what I found.

Original taken by the talented IAN @ Flicker

Our beloved Angela is actually a zombie! She’s not really at home typing away on her NANO project. She just told us that so we wouldn’t be wondering why she wasn’t posting to The Bookshelf Muse. Instead, she’s roving the Canadian countryside and destroying everything in sight. That poor town of Pimbahtaw doesn’t exist anymore.

At first, I couldn’t believe it. Not Angela! But it’s true. See the normal human arm on the right hand side of the picture? She ate him. He was a reporter, like me, but woefully inexperienced. Zombies can’t be trusted, and don’t buy the lumbering, I’m-an-idiot act they’re always putting on. It’s how they lure in their prey.

The next time you see Angela, use extreme caution. That’s not real flesh on her bones, it’s pounds and pounds of makeup and Febreeze. Don’t turn your back on to her, and definitely don’t run—zombies can’t help but give chase. I’m not sure about Becca—she might not know about Angela’s true identity, or she might be a zombie herself. I fled the country before I could find out, but I will do my best to learn as much as I can. In the meantime, I advise all of you to give them a wide berth.

**END OF TRANSMISSION**

As I said, a shocking account. Is it true? Is Angela really a Zombie? Did she eat that journalist? Or is there some...sort of...explanation for this? Take the poll...after you stock up on food, water and batteries of course. Just in case.

 
(And for the record, I am not a zombie. I am as terrified as the rest of you. Stay safe, Musers. Stay safe.)

8 comments:

Susanne Drazic said...

Darn, if I'd known that Angela hung around with zombies, I'd have asked her and her friends to be guests on my blog in October for Zombie Invasion month. Maybe next year?
: )

Becca Puglisi said...

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, of course, but I refuse to believe this. We've had this conversation before—the WHAT IF conversation. And Angela knows that if she ever TURNED, I wouldn't hesitate to stake her like a shish kebab.

So, nope. Can't be true. Must be some other explanation.

The Magic Violinist said...

I think someone photo-shopped that photo. XD

Tabitha Olson said...

It's totally true people! The zombies are here, and they're coming for us! They've already gotten to Angela, so, Becca, get your stake handy? :)

LynNerdKelley said...

I suspected Angela was heavy into research for her Nano piece, and after taking the poll, I see I'm not alone! She must have taken her zombie repellent along with her, and that's the only way she survived such a brave feat! Haha! What a fun post!

Sharon K. Mayhew said...

Funny! I hope there aren't any real zombies. Ghosts I can deal with. Witches I can deal with. Vampires I can deal with, but zombies...nope. I'll hide in a closet until they leave. :)

Angela Ackerman said...

I think there's a conspiracy afoot! I am the VICTIM in all this!

Rachna Chhabria said...

I am sure Angela was researching for her next book in which a zombie is the main villain ;)

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