Today, a report from a writer many know and love--someone who is risking LIFE AND LIMB just by communicating with us. That's right, Tabitha Olson, well known blogger, Kidlit writer and book reviewer at Writer's Musings has managed to snap the most revealing --and dangerous-- photo of Angela yet.
I'm still in complete shock as I write this. If you have a sensitive stomach, or would rather remember Angela as she once was, I encourage you NOT to read on.
A Zombies Exposé!
You might not know this, but I’ve been secretly reporting on zombie sightings for the past ten years. My pen name is Zhack Adeadone, so feel free to look me up. I know of what I speak.
Ordinarily I would never reveal my true identity to the public (because that ultimately leads to hordes of zombies at my doorstep—contrary to popular belief, they aren’t as dumb as they appear to be and can Google). However, I discovered some shocking information that I feel you, loyal readers of The Bookshelf Muse, need to know.
By the time you read this, I will already have packed a bag and flown to some unknown corner of the Earth. I can only hope the zombies won’t find my trail… I got a tip from an anonymous source that a zombie horde was gathering in the small town of Pimbahtaw, Ontario last night. So I headed up there, donned my full zombie disguise, and this is what I found.
|Original taken by the talented IAN @ Flicker|
Our beloved Angela is actually a zombie! She’s not really at home typing away on her NANO project. She just told us that so we wouldn’t be wondering why she wasn’t posting to The Bookshelf Muse. Instead, she’s roving the Canadian countryside and destroying everything in sight. That poor town of Pimbahtaw doesn’t exist anymore.
At first, I couldn’t believe it. Not Angela! But it’s true. See the normal human arm on the right hand side of the picture? She ate him. He was a reporter, like me, but woefully inexperienced. Zombies can’t be trusted, and don’t buy the lumbering, I’m-an-idiot act they’re always putting on. It’s how they lure in their prey.
The next time you see Angela, use extreme caution. That’s not real flesh on her bones, it’s pounds and pounds of makeup and Febreeze. Don’t turn your back on to her, and definitely don’t run—zombies can’t help but give chase. I’m not sure about Becca—she might not know about Angela’s true identity, or she might be a zombie herself. I fled the country before I could find out, but I will do my best to learn as much as I can. In the meantime, I advise all of you to give them a wide berth.
**END OF TRANSMISSION**
As I said, a shocking account. Is it true? Is Angela really a Zombie? Did she eat that journalist? Or is there some...sort of...explanation for this? Take the poll...after you stock up on food, water and batteries of course. Just in case.
(And for the record, I am not a zombie. I am as terrified as the rest of you. Stay safe, Musers. Stay safe.)