Texture Thesaurus Entry: Pitted
Posted by Angela Ackerman
Old concrete (sidewalks,etc)
Cracker tops (Ritz, soda)
Weathered buildings and statues
Hand-blown glass (bubbles)
Pock, honeycombed, cratered, pocked, pock marked, spotted, marked,
Describing texture in a story creates intimacy between reader and character, and can even cause an emotional trigger for both. To anchor the reader in the scene, make sure comparisons and contrasts are clear and relatable, and within the scope of the narrator's life knowledge and experience.
A weak example:
Janice smiled at her date, taking note of his expensive suit and watch. He wasn't the best looking guy with his face a pitted road map that detailed his long and wretched history with acne, but he obviously had cash. His slumped shoulders and hopeful gaze said he'd part with it too if it meant getting someone like her to play the role of arm candy.
What's wrong with this example?
This isn't bad, but it's a bit weak because the texture is explained rather than compared or contrasted to something of a like texture.
A strong example:
Janice smiled at her date, taking note of his expensive suit and watch. He wasn't the best looking guy with his thinning hair and a face more pitted than a cheap linoleum floor. Obviously had cash though and his slumped shoulders and hopeful gaze said she'd be able to walk all over him.
Why does this example work?
This comparison has nice symmetry. Not only does the lino comparison give a good image of what his skin looks like, it segues well into showing how Janice likes to treat her men. The texture has done double duty, providing not only physical description of one character, but also the personality of the other.