Happy Anniversary, Bookshelf Muse!!

Woot, one year old at last! Becca and I appreciate all the great comments, feedback and support that keeps us running. You guys are truly what makes this blog awesome!Now onto the important stuff...what would an anniversary be without PRESENTS?

Becca and I have been working on a special post in anticipation of this landmark. We hope this will help you continue to portray accurate emotions!

Expressing Cardinal Emotions: Male vs. Female

Anger

Male:

Tendency toward violence: hitting something, kicking, shoving, causing damage to something as an outlet for energy
Clenched fists
Swearing
Confronting others head on
Tendency to initiate vengeance with others
Letting emotions rule immediate judgement, leading to speeding, stomping down on an accelerator & peeling out of a parking lot, making rash decisions
Internalizes anger, doesn't talk about it
Able to move past anger eventually
Usually forgives and forgets

Female:

Glares
Lips pinched together
Bitterly running someone down to others
Yelling or screaming
Cat fights
Leaving the situation, stalking off
Arms crossed
Verbalizes, using words to do the damage or fight
Dark thoughts (revenge, a desire to divulge secrets or weakness to others regarding the other person involved, thinking of ways to bring them down or make them look bad in front of everyone to spread one's own pain)
A lessened or completely broken sense of loyalty to the other person, even if previously close
May lash out at others for release
Takes a long time to move past anger
Will never forget, even though they may forgive

Love

Male:

Handing over control
Agreeing to make things easier/keep person happy
Gifts
Compliments
Paying for dates, meals, etc
Small things: filling the tank with gas, doing chores that he knows is easier for him than her to do, taking care of things that he knows she's not as comfortable with (maybe taking the car in for maintenance, or if he's more computer savvy, then setting up software or accounts online, etc)
Picking her up after work, school or offering rides
Sharing personal interests with or including her in 'buddy events'
Apologizing when necessary or to smooth things over
Touching, holding & physical affection
Eye contact
Assuming a 'provider role'
Telling a partner "I love you"
Being spontaneous (checking in throughout the day, phone calls, suggesting an activity/date/event to attend)
Listening
rubbing shoulders or feet, massages
Plays with hair
Pet name

Female:

Works to look good for partner
Touching/holding/very affectionate
Showing appreciation
Complimenting partner's strengths/achievements
Cooking or baking something special
Paying close attention to partner's interest
Surprises
Asks questions about interests/hobbies
Phone calls
Making sure the partner feels needed/wanted
Verbalizes feelings
Looks for ways to spend time together
Adopts partner's interests as own
Asks for advice/opinions/help
Teases
Allows him to do things for her (that she could do herself) because it makes him feel good/like a provider

Fear

Male:

If in a group, he may flinch toward buddies but he'd never reach out for them
Flight response if situation is beyond control, fight if it is not
Attempts to act macho or hide fear if with others
Projects denial: "I wasn't scared--you were!"
Jerks back in shock or surprise
Will not necessarily seek out help
Intrinsic reaction/need to protect others younger or of the opposite sex
Swears or gets angry
Violence

Female:

Gasps
Screams, cries, moans (verbalizes fear)
Babbling
Strong instinct to protect loved ones or those younger than self
Flight response
Will huddle close to others or seek to be with people
May look to those who can protect them to do so
Grabs onto friends
May panic in extreme situations
Freezes
Would rather be in a group than alone
Innovative if necessary (fighting back, manipulation in order to keep self/others safe)
Will seek out help if threatened
Resilience & heroism when needed


Happiness

Male:

Smiling
An easygoing nature
Physical contact with others
Teasing, joking, laughing
Open to anything or to try new things
Being more verbal & animated than usual

Female:

Speaking rapidly
Squeals, giggles, laughter
Touching people to feel connected to them
A radiant look
Confidence
Wanting to share/spread feelings with others
Bubbly nature, hyperness
Generousness

Confusion

Male:

Utilizes face expressions
Little verbal communication
Loss of confidence
A who-cares attitude
Backing off or down
Shutting down somewhat, having a difficult time processing
A loosening of body posture

Female:

Asks questions
Verbalizes feelings
Demands clarification & more information
Exhibits 'self protective' body posture: holds books to chest, arms crossed in front of self, stepping back from others slightly, death grip on purse)
Defends self, tries to reason or sway others to change outcomes

Surprise

Male:

Knee jerk reactions: jumps back, brings hands up to defend, light shove/arm punch to another after shock wears off
May swear or utter oaths
Incapable of staying still--needs to move around to process
Uses a few words to convey surprise over and over
May not like to be surprised


Female:

Hands cover mouth
Pressing hand against heart
Verbalizes as they feel it
Admonishes others but is secretly pleased
May sit down to process
Seeks to be with or share with others
Loves surprises

Sadness

Male:

Becomes quiet
Looks for a distraction or a task to focus on
Avoids others
Does not react verbally
Seeks to be alone/may avoid people
Avoids comfort unless he is very close to the person
Questions one's own role and if they failed somehow in thoughts
Tries to figure out a solution to the problem
If there is no solution, he may ignore the problem

Female:

Shows emotions (cries, shares with others, asks for comfort)
Verbalizes what one is feeling/thinking
Feels guilt even if there should be none
Plays the what if game
Tries to care for others
Offers comfort to others
Finds release/peace in sharing the experience and knowing others feel the same way
Tries to talk it through with others
Asks for advice
Looks for a protector/someone to offer strength at time of need
Wallows
Will take the steps to create change when time is right

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**Please note these examples are suggested commonalities for each sex, but not the rule. Each individual expresses differently, but sometimes the sexes gravitate to a certain type of communication style because they are male or female (for example, in almost all things, women tend to verbalize much more than men). :-) Age & maturity is also a huge factor, as is personality type.

Don't forget to check out the full length Emotion Thesaurus posts for each of these in the sidebar!